Recalibrating Our Hidden Metrics

Listening for our expectations opens the door to shifting them and conserving energy. So we can show up more fueled for work — and our lives.

Last month I touched on why revisiting our expectations can be valuable.  

How leaders who recalibrate their expectations —  the silent, unspoken “rules” we set for ourselves — are more innovative, avoid burnout and are better equipped to think strategically (rather than reactively). 

But expectations can be hard to identify. Unlike standards – metrics set by your organization or industry – expectations are internal. Some we’ve carried since childhood or seen modeled by early adults or professionals we admired. 

So how can we uncover these internal rulers? We begin by listening. 

Listen for Your Expectations

Ashley was a senior leader in a CA-based research firm. She carried significant responsibilities, was a fiery advocate for her team and a professional with deep integrity.  

Not surprisingly, she also held high expectations for herself. 

Ashley was the colleague whose emailed replies were always received within 24 hrs and not infrequently timestamped “12AM.”  She was a hawk for accuracy, who scrutinized reports small and large to ensure their quality. And when Ashley scheduled or committed to a meeting, she’d be there. 

However, these expectations she held — for fast replies, flawless products and reliability — came at a cost of time and energy. Ashley knew it, her family knew it and she wanted change. 

But her integrity and commitment to excellence were also non-negotiable. What else could she do differently? 

I cautioned her that long-term shifts happens slowly. Just as a ship turns gradually, so do we when adjusting long-term patterns and practices. We may want a dramatic change in our lives, but lasting recalibrations are incremental.

Ashley scheduled a few breaks in her day to pause and tune in:

• Where was she pushing herself to be faster?

• More polished?

• Did these relate to her firm’s standards or her own internal expectations?

Courage to Recalibrate

Ashley’s brief pauses revealed an interesting opportunity for recalibration: Meetings.

While Ashley had certainly RSVP’d to executive meetings that got rescheduled, collaborator meetings that started late or strategy meetings that were postponed indefinitely, she couldn’t think of a time when she’d requested a shift.

It took a pause for Ashley to hear this: Her self-made expectation to always make every meeting.

It took courage to consider a recalibration.

What did this look like? On her busiest days, when time-sensitive pressures were mounting, Ashley tested a new practice — she asked if others were available to meet another time.

It was incremental. A slight shift in her old way of operating.

But what a reward!

Not only did Ashley feel immediate relief in raising this discussion of alternatives — she was surprised to hear how often others were relieved and welcomed the suggestion!

Recalibrating expectations is not about compromising your reputation or credibility.  

It’s listening to clarify where the internal bar you’ve set for yourself may be shifted even slightly. Then being courageous in testing that shift.

Don’t let internal expectations sap you of energy and time in seasons when you’re already working at full capacity.

Revisit and recalibrate your expectations to sustain resilience — and fuel your WHOLE life.

Curious how you can realize more energy for work and LIFE? Let’s talk. I’m happy to share more.